Spreading awareness about LGBTQIA+ in the military

We’re here 24/7. And when you’ve been in the service for months or half a year, it’s clear that everything that can be discussed has been discussed. When others hear about my bisexuality, there are various questions. But I like that there’s always a discussion happening. Not like on Facebook, where they usually just argue.

I wrote some posts on FB, some petitions. When there’s no instruction, people just ignore it to the maximum. They simply don’t want to talk. Again, you go unnoticed, like Casper the Ghost. It’s as if society chooses to focus on something else – a lot of work, many tasks, war. People find a million reasons not to talk about LGBTQIA+. But I don’t see any outright rejection. There were moments when talking about it was simply forbidden in the old unit, with media or raising the topic in general, because it’s not advantageous, it’s a reputational loss. If someone finds out, it’s bad. If the commander is asked, what will he say? They feel ashamed about it, so they avoid it. Well, in general, during a state of war, it’s not a top priority. But this topic is a top priority for me. That’s why I’m interested in bringing it up, pushing it, writing posts. And, of course, I will do that.

My other acquaintances, from different military units, those on the frontline, in those hotspots, they really say that they are going through some traumatic experience, and they understand that what they have been through is more important than their fear or “clamping down.”

So, the stakes are raised. And people can’t tolerate this anymore, can’t hide their true gender identities. No one will hide anymore. In the military, for sure.

When you or anyone in Ukraine can die tomorrow, then the priority of issues is different. Things we put off, which weren’t very important, come back. And when queer people serve in the military, this issue becomes important for them. And there isn’t such a thing, oh, I have plenty of time, a whole life. I can live another 10 years and not tell anyone anything. But there’s no time anymore. We need to hurry a bit, change the attitude. People want to live these moments of their lives when everything narrows down like that. My other acquaintances, from different military units, those on the frontline, in those hotspots, they really say that they are going through some traumatic experience, and they understand that what they have been through is more important than their fear or “clamping down.” So, the stakes are raised. And people can’t tolerate this anymore, can’t hide. No one will hide anymore. In the military, for sure. It was a good, pivotal moment. People are starting to talk. And it’s just fantastic. When people start talking about their feelings, they cannot be ignored. Others are immediately getting involved and thinking about it. Previously, all of this was avoided. Many people are reading news about the LGBTQIA+ community, discovering their friends and acquaintances. And for me, it’s a collective moment. In society, a chain of discussions arises that constantly go on and on. It’s like opening Pandora’s box, and all these stereotypes fly out in one second.

I lucked out with my unit. They’re all calm, logical people. They asked questions, engaged in discussions. My comrades changed very quickly. I was genuinely shocked. Earlier, there were talks about beating LGBTQIA+ people among them. But after I came out, they changed abruptly. It’s like they saw a person in LGBTQIA+ representatives. They realized that there’s me, a reasonable person, who is part of society, and they stopped demonizing the LGBTQIA+ community.

Civil Partnership Bill *

This was a collaborative text written by civil organizations. We put a lot of meaning into it to explain to people why it’s being done. Heterosexual people don’t understand what the problem is, that other people may have issues they don’t have.

The bill is new, but it was supported by 25 thousand people. We wanted to draw the president’s attention to this. I submitted this petition on my behalf. Only an individual can do this.

I feel that the queer community often can’t get through this period when they start experimenting to affirm their feelings, but then they can’t break free from it. It’s the only thing available to them – just sex. But it’s really about nothing. However, for queer people in Ukraine, it’s the only thing they have. They don’t feel like they have a future. Family, relationships, generations.

There’s an issue with the lack of sexual education for people. And there are people who suffer because they poorly understand themselves. When you don’t even understand that your feelings are okay, and you don’t need to fix or treat something. The programs that exist in Europe now in the educational sphere, public discussions… It would be cool if they did it here too. Shared this. How do they do it because they’ve been doing it for decades? It’s necessary to separate physiology from sexuality. I feel that the queer community often can’t get through this period when they start experimenting to affirm their feelings, but then they can’t break free from it. It’s the only thing available to them – just sex. But it’s really about nothing. However, for queer people in Ukraine, it’s the only thing they have. They don’t feel like they have a future. Family, relationships, generations. People just hang out at parties, take LSD, something else. And that’s where it all ends. And they just don’t believe that something could work out someday. Dates, family – it’s like a distant dream that no one thinks about. Other countries are at a different stage. They’re already talking about different things. It would be great if these topics came here. So that we move forward. Conditions are being created for this. You just need to fight, believe. So, Europe needs to use its resources to influence Ukraine. I see that often in some agreements between Europe and Ukraine, they try to include commitments to ensure rights. Europeans need to exert more pressure on our government in this regard. Europe should add this issue to a greater number of agreements.

*At the state level, the law on registered partnerships in Ukraine has been under discussion since 2015. However, it was during the war that a plan of action for the implementation of the National Human Rights Strategy for 2021-2023 was agreed upon. As part of this, as of December 2023, the introduction of the institution of registered civil partnership, including for same-sex couples, has been approved.