«LGBTQIA+ it’s an inappropriate topic and not the main issue during wartime!»

I’ve been an open gay since I was 16. My mum understands and accepts my orientation, but she doesn’t fully get how important this is for me. She thinks I’m just a gay guy with nothing better to do, sticking my face everywhere because I lack attention. She accepts it, but not entirely. There are moments when she criticizes my posts. “Why do you share this? Why are you writing that? There’s a war going on!” I say, “There is a war, but we’re fighting on all fronts now. I’m fighting in this war, and I’m fighting on the front to create some conditions for me to serve in this war more peacefully. Peacefully in terms of acceptance, in terms of some laws that, God willing, Ukraine will adopt during the war (civil partnerships*, etc.).”

There is also support. There are people I serve with who accept my gender without any issue. They, in principle, have no problem with it.

Why did someone who attended LGBTQIA+ prides go to war?

I’ve been asked questions like “Are you proud to be a soldier?” I always reply that war is not something to be proud of; there’s no need to boast about being a cool military guy. I’ve never in my life said that I’m a cool dude, a military guy. I don’t like publicity in that sense. I never share my location on Instagram, never talk about what I’ve been through. Nobody ever knows. Now, in the media space, some homophobes or haters call me a “TikTok soldier.” A soldier who’s supposedly not really a soldier. I changed my name on Instagram because some people threatened me. To avoid being found, I had to. It wasn’t just one person behind these threats. That’s one more reason why this job is psychologically challenging.

Why am I here? I’ve never hidden that I’ve been a patriot of Ukraine for a long time. I love my country in any case because I was born here, grew up here, and live here. When I had the opportunity to join the war, I had a choice: either to stay in the unit or to participate in the war. I chose to participate in the war because I’m fighting for the independence of the country, and I’m also fighting for the independence of the LGBTQIA+ community. Many homophobes, just regular people, whether they support us or not, perceive us as if we’re poor, unhappy, incapable of anything, going to those gay prides, “dancing naked,” as they say. Many people don’t understand that we’re just like them. We’re not different. We don’t have three hands or four legs. But society doesn’t seem to get that.

Annoying stereotypes

Well, there are silly questions thrown our way. Regular silly things said by military folks who don’t know who we are. These are inappropriate, senseless questions, sometimes even homophobic. We’re like some new world to them. They lack information about the LGBTQIA+ community. And it’s easier for them to talk nonsense about someone than to learn about the person’s life and who they really are. They’re just not interested.

*At the state level, the law on registered partnerships in Ukraine has been under discussion since 2015. However, it was during the war that a plan of action for the implementation of the National Human Rights Strategy for 2021-2023 was agreed upon. As part of this, as of December 2023, the introduction of the institution of registered civil partnership, including for same-sex couples, has been approved.